Nothing Short of a Miracle

January 10, 2016

Photo credit: Pinterest

My heart is so full right now. You guys, Jesus is so merciful and so very, very good.

If fall semester had to be summed up in one word, it would be exhausting: literally and utterly exhausting. I have been stretched in every direction possible by every single thing possible; from my duties as president of Rutgers IJM to trying to balance the heavy workload from my classes, I have never been more ready for break. 

While the majority of my classes were manageable, one class in particular really challenged me. I'm not a very tech-savvy person, so being required to take Computer Applications for Business sounded like a nightmare waiting to happen and I would be lying if I didn't admit that sometimes it felt like hell on earth. My suitemate would have to drag me to class every week (it didn't help that class was from 6:55-7:50 pm) and I would pull all-nighters struggling through every weekly coding assignment. All semester long I drowned in HTML and Javascript terms and practice problems only to fail both of my midterms. I came back to my suite after one exam and locked myself in my room, crying my eyes out because I knew I had failed. I was frustrated, broken down, and feeling quite hopeless. 

I needed a C to pass the class and at that point in time I had a low D. I needed to pass the final in order to pass the class. My friends tried to cheer me up, telling me not to give up because an A on the final practically guaranteed an A in the class, but I knew my limits and knew that there was no way I could ever get an A on the final. I cried out to God, begging him to intervene in my situation and to help me be able to study and understand the information fully. My mom also prayed with me, asking God not for an A, but to reveal his power and his love to me.

In the weeks leading up to the final, I locked myself away and studied, studied, studied. I memorized every single term and redid the midterm problems repeatedly. Surprisingly, I no longer felt depressed about Comp Apps; I had accepted the fact that there was a major possibility that I could fail the class and have to retake it, which would put off my course plans for the rest of my time at college and force me to stay an extra semester. I was no longer sad thinking about the class; instead I focused on the fact that my struggles had brought my dad and I closer together. He works in the IT field and he would stay up with me and tirelessly explain the concepts and help me with my homework even though he had work the next day. I was reasoned that since one of my majors is business analytics/IT, having to retake the class would just reinforce the information and help me to completely understand it. 

So in the span of a few weeks, I had gone from full-blown panic attacks to complete serenity. If you know me, you know the only way that could ever happen is through God. I didn't notice it then, but he was already working in my situation.

The day of the final came and I walked into the testing room feeling a little jittery, but ultimately calm and prepared. I was there for the entirety of the three hours we were given; I had finished the exam within the first hour but I was terrified to get up and hand it in because that meant I could no longer do anything about it. I spent the rest of the time checking and rechecking every answer and counting the number of points for the questions I was positive about to see if it would add up to a passing score. Finally, I turned in my exam and went back to my suite feeling utterly drained but overjoyed that my fall semester had officially come to an end. 

I pushed any thoughts of Comp Apps to the deep recesses of my brain for a few days until I received an email that our exam grades and final scores had come out. With bated breath I logged on and checked my score. I had to calculate and recalculate because I didn't believe what I saw. I had gotten an A on the final and an A in the whole course. Can you believe that?! I most certainly couldn't. I had to call both my roommate and suite mate over and ask them to calculate it in case my math went horribly wrong. But no, they ended up with the same grade I did: an A. 

My mom was in shock. My dad was in shock and demanded we hang the grade up on the fridge. But no one was more shocked than me. Isn't Jesus amazing? He had redeemed my D for an A and helped me to grow along the way; he was so merciful to me even though I deserved (and should've) failed. To make things even more amazing, I had somehow gotten A's on all of my other classes except for one, making what seemed to be a horrible semester the best one yet. Looking back, fall semester was nothing short of a miracle; there was absolutely no way I would've survived mentally and emotionally sound or gotten such amazing grades without God. I'm not really sure how else to end this other than reiterating once again how truly great and wonderful our Father is. Friends, he is so good and he wants to bless you with infinite blessings; all we have to do is ask and we shall receive.

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